Chapter 62 – Not Leaving (1)
Qu Feiqing lightly sighed, frustration evident on her face as she pressed her brush on the fine writing paper.
She thought the affection she displayed was already obvious, enough even for an ignorant Su Xin to notice. But why does Su Xin act as if she doesn’t see it?
Does she truly not notice this…or merely pretend to ignore it?
Qu Feiqing’s mouth stretched to a thin line. Either way, if one messes with her, that person won’t be able to run away, she thought grudgingly.
Su Xin had willingly delivered herself to her door. To be blunt, she wasn’t even of importance to her. Only now…
Trying to find clarity for her confused mind, Qu Feiqing painted until late at night, until the candles beneath the lampshades burned up to one third. When she was finally done, Qu Feiqing blinked her tired eyes, scrutinizing the painting before her.
It was painting of a beautiful woman laughing among the flowers.
Qu Feiqing hid away her brushes, allowing the ink on the paper to dry. She hesitated to inscribe her initials on the corner. Only after a moment’s hesitation did she eventually drop the thought.
Qu Feiqing laid in the dragon bed after taking a calming bath. For many nights, by this time, she had been used to sleeping with Su Xin in her arms. Now she felt sleeplessness catch her while laying alone in her wide bed.
Qu Feiqing was a very selfish person; she doesn’t like to give more than the other person. In matters of love, she wants to be the sober one. The person with the cool-headed demeanor forever. But now she finds that it is so difficult to reduce her fancy, even just by one point.
Feelings are far from being light as scholars, poets and singers have said them to be—it takes immense will to be able to let it dwindle.
On the other side, Su Xin was still gloomy, sitting in bed her eyes wide open and also sleepless.
“Young lady, is there anything on your mind?” Shu Juan with drooping eyes, asked softly, situated at a corner.
Shu Juan had grown more respectful and humble, far from the jittery girl she was from before. She stood there in an aloof manner; even the smile on her face was less. As time slowly passed, she also no longer shed tears in front of Su Xin.
“Nothing much. Shu Juan, don’t you feel flustered to be in the palace, locked for a long time?”
“The Young lady feels bored in the palace?” Instead of answering Su Xin’s question, Shu Juan replied with a question of her own.
“A little.” Su Xin admitted, fiddling with the jade beads on her wrist. A bracelet which was given by Qu Feiqing herself. She looked at it as if it was the most precious thing in the world.
After a moment’s silence, “Can the Young lady bear to leave her majesty?” Shu Juan tried to inquire tentatively.
Su Xin paused and looked up towards Shu Juan, eyes sharp as needles. At this sight, Shu Juan’s heart pricked painfully.
“You knew my plans?”
“The Young lady never wanted to hide anything from Shu Juan before, isn’t that right?”
Shu Juan could only smile bitterly. She was Su Xin’s personal servant girl; she vowed to follow Su Xin wherever she wants to go. Besides, she’s not blind or ignorant as Su Xin to see that…Su Xin doesn’t want her to follow her but rather wants to run towards the opposite direction, to her majesty.
These things she could clearly see plain as day.
“Why do you ask me if I’m willing to leave her?” Su Xin was curious about this. What did she show that gave the illusion to Shu Juan to think she can’t leave Qu Feiqing?
“Doesn’t the Young lady like her majesty?” Shu Juan clenched her fists, heart overflowing with sadness.
“Ah? What? I don’t like her…” Su Xin said at a loss. Well, she did say that she liked Qu Feiqing, but it was only affection for intimate pleasures in bed. It seems that Qu Feiqing was the opposite, genuinely holding serious affection for her.
Shu Juan merely stared at Su Xin, her face devoid of any expression. The room was once more submerged in silence.
“Young lady, you are truly ruthless.” Shu Juan finally declared.