Chapter 24 - Technique Is Muscle Memory (19+)
Heerak furrowed his brows.
He didn’t like this situation. He wasn’t sure what exactly ticked him off, but it made him feel bad enough that he immediately made a face.
“Should I help you out like last time?”
“How exactly would you do that?”
Doseon sat up. Heerak moved away from him in response.
Doseon would help him?
In that moment, a few scenarios flashed through Heerak’s head as quick as lightning and dissipated into thin air.
Maybe he asked this man to suck him off. Or maybe he asked him to touch him where he felt good. In any case, they both hurt his ego, and he felt bad about it. Thus, he hoped that these were only baseless fears.
If he had one-sidedly forced intimate acts on a person who was nervous because it was their first time, Heerak feeling bitter wouldn’t be the end of it. He would probably punch his pillow every night in guilt and self-hate.
Doseon gave a perplexed look at Heerak’s lost and trepidatious face, and then he raised his arm slowly. Heerak fixed his eyes on the arm that stretched out.
Doseon grabbed the body lotion.
Heerak’s baffled face slowly became tinged with embarrassment, and then it was completely replaced with disbelief. Heerak barely held onto the thread of sanity when Doseon squeezed some of the lotion on his hands. Then, when Doseon brought his hands down to his lower half without a second thought while leaning back on a pillow, he felt like he saw stars.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Heerak quickly snatched Doseon’s wrist. Heerak’s head was spinning—he almost saw a sight that he did not want to see. He was extremely lucky that he was able to come back to his senses and not see it happening by a hair’s breadth.
“Doseon,” Heerak huffed, his face completely red.
Doseon seemed to be a bit surprised by the change in Heerak’s attitude because he asked, “Yes?” while blinking rapidly.
“What are you doing?”
Doseon answered the question faithfully, despite being a question that popped out from Heerak’s shock. “Well, I’m lubricating my ho—”
“Stop!” Heerak yelled, cutting Doseon off.
“Already? We haven’t done anything yet. Wait, no, that’s also an issue…”
Heerak’s agitated voice filled the room. “You liar! You complete scam! Mr. Doseon Yoon, you lied to me, didn’t you?”
At this, Doseon could not keep a straight face. He was obviously shaken up. “No, I didn’t. I never once lied to you.”
No, Heerak was sure Doseon told him a big fat lie.
Heerak was upset. He felt lightheaded and could hear his ears ringing from his blood pressure shooting up. “You said I was kind to you!”
‘Right, no matter how drunk I was, my manners probably didn’t die off. Of course. No matter how delirious I was from being drunk, I’m sure I was skillful enough so that this man could call that night a “nice memory.” I never heard a single complaint from any of the omegas I slept with so far. Of course, my technique wouldn’t just drop off the face of the earth.’
Heerak scoffed at himself and shouted, “That night, you said I was kind! Doseon, those are your words, right?”
“Yes, that’s correct. That’s an irrefutable truth. You were gentle with me.”
“How? What part of it?”
Which part of a jerk who seduced you to have sex, skipped over all the foreplay, and shoved his meat in was kind or gentle?
Heerak felt his anger boiling inside while Doseon returned to being composed, bit by bit.
“You asked several times if it hurt, and you were concerned when I looked like I was having a hard time. You also noticed that I liked holding hands, so you kept my hands in yours.”
‘Isn’t that more than kind?’
The eyes of the director who demanded an answer were ablaze. Because of that, Doseon only said what he thought were facts and didn’t put his question into words. Of course, Heerak could easily read that question from Doseon’s eyes. And because of that, he grew angrier.
Heerak sighed multiple times in a row. “No. That’s not being kind, from my standards.”
“Is that so?” Doseon answered, but he didn’t seem convinced. Heerak let out a deep sigh in anger and decided to keep it in. He roughly rubbed his face in frustration instead and stretched his arms out to grab the other’s shoulders.
“Listen carefully, Doseon.” Heerak said in a tone seeking assurance, and Doseon nodded resolutely at that.
“Those things are a given.”
“They’re obligations. They’re things I should do anyways. It’s the least I can do for you, who opened your body to me. You shouldn’t call that being kind or anything. Never ever.”
Doseon looked at Heerak with dazed eyes. Heerak made a small smile and continued to speak calmly.
“When I arranged to meet with you to ask you what happened that night, you shouldn’t have been nice about it. You shouldn’t have answered that way. You should’ve cursed at me for being a prick. You should’ve said that you couldn’t sleep well at night because you were so upset and angry that a bastard like me took your first time. What does that make me now? I was stroking my own ego, and now I feel lame.”
Bewilderment cropped up on Doseon’s composed face. From the look in the other’s eyes, Heerak could tell that Doseon was quite shaken up. Heerak firmed his grasp and continued, “That night, it was your first time, and you said you were nervous, so your head must have been in a confused mess. But from now on, even if you do it with another person, if they do what I did, I don’t want you to think that what they’re doing is gentle or kind. It would be even better if you ask the other person to do more things for you. The other person will probably like that too. Also, since you’re a beta, you could be on the giving end. In that case, you should never act like how I did that night. Follow what I’m going to do tonight.”