Chapter 45 – Crimson (2)
If she wished to continue living like a queen, Eugene had to give up on some things to enjoy the benefits of having a high status. For one, there was no such thing as privacy for the queen. There was always someone’s eyes and ears lurking in the shadows. It seemed a queen’s life was for everyone to watch and comment.
But she was glad for one thing–Jin’s well-known laziness.
No one bothered her or woke her up until the afternoon. Eating and sleeping alone, the queen had a lot of private time. Living like this was fun, but it got Eugene thinking…
Is this okay?
She wanted to carve a place of her own, not be kept by a man. It was not that she’s ambitious. Nor was she resigned to living out her days as a wastrel.
My body feels strange today.
She tried to pull the string to call the maid and pressed on her belly with her hand.
I know what this pain is. Eugene lifted up her pajamas and snuck a peek.
Sure enough, there was blood smeared on her thighs. She had begun menstruating.
Eugene looked down at the bloodstain, looking like a girl who had just hit puberty.
This was her first menses in this new body. Even if the soul changes, the body does not care and steadily continues with its natural functions.
The vivid red blood put her in shock.
I’m not dreaming now. This is reality!
She had almost brainwashed herself. She thought that if she played the role, she would be able to adapt and eventually, accept it even.
But there was a time when it was very difficult too. It felt like walking on a soft downy and then suddenly stepping on a rough stone field. The harsh reality had jolted her, yet she had brushed it aside and tried hard to embrace this role, this life.
Closing her eyes, Eugene took a deep breath.
It’d been less than a month since she fell into this world. Things took time, so why the haste?
… I’m not pregnant.
At that moment, she actually realized just how apprehensive she was about getting pregnant. Pregnancy and childbirth were a sure way to solve many problems. She knew it in her head, but it still wasn’t an easy thing for her heart to commit to.
But apart from being relieved, it was hard to believe that she wasn’t pregnant.
We did all of that, so why then am I not pregnant?
Eugene mumbled and buried her face in her hands. The passion they had so eagerly indulged in these last few nights didn’t bear fruit; it seems.
The purpose of their nocturnal ‘tryst’ was explicit. It was not for pleasure or confirmation of affection, but for “breeding”. Though barbaric, it was the truth of the matter.
The man did his best to impregnate her. The number of times he poured his semen deep into her womb could not be counted. Although she’d be exhausted at the end of it all, she still loved the afterglow.
Eugene shook her head with a flushed face as if shaking off the mixed feelings. She pulled the string quickly and called for the maid.
“Did you sleep well?”
Eugene smiled awkwardly. After breakfast and lunch, she was embarrassed to receive a morning greeting.
Marianne never missed a day’s greetings, whether it was morning or evening.
“The king is a great man.” Were the only words of Marianne that sank in Eugene’s troubled mind.
Though lacking in emotional empathy, Kasser was not haughty or humble. As a responsible ruler, he was able to gain the trust of others easily. He had an aura of dependability, which reassured his subjects.
On the other hand, Eugene’s defensive personality made it difficult for her to get along with anyone. When she was young, there was a time when she easily trusted people. Foolishly naive and gullible, in the long run, she had received her dues.
As Eugene got hurt by people over and over, she chose to distance herself from them, seeking refuge through building walls around her. In the end, no matter how she wanted to breach these walls, they remained standing. Having tasted pain and sorrow multiple times, she found herself unable to open up to people.
However, she felt comfortable with Marianne, whom she had known for less than a month now. It was unexpected for her as well. But there was a sense of ease and respect in her interactions with the woman, that she didn’t feel the need to be cautious like how she used to. Perhaps Marianne was a good servitor, no matter who the queen was.
But how did Jin Anika become Queen… she is truly evil.
Jin Anika was the youngest daughter of a wealthy and reputable family. Her family was the gentle and affectionate kind, who unconditionally doted on their youngest daughter. She knew no hardships or grief and was brought up like the pearl in one’s palm.
Therefore, there was no way to explain Jin Anika’s vicious and vile persona. How and why she turned into a villain that she was, was something that still baffled Eugene. Since she had no recollection of the things that had transpired, she could only make some calculated guesses.
Perhaps, I’m overthinking. Sigh.
Even the devil cannot repent and be reborn a new man. Perhaps, Jin Anika was indeed a psychopath. So far, all that Eugene had gleaned about her, pointed in that direction. But then, what was the meaning behind her transmigration then?
Maybe I was put here to unearth the truth…
“My queen, I’m here to deliver reports pertaining to your order.”
Being abruptly shaken out of her reverie, Eugene blinked with puzzlement. She couldn’t understand what Marianne was talking about.
“Your Grace, you had instructed me to look into the family affairs of the missing maids and compensate them for their loss.”