Chapter 10 - Transition (19)
It was past midnight when I returned home. Since I had missed Liwei and his company, I had to walk back home alone. I teetered into my den, which was created using some standing panels on the side of the living room. I was so exhausted, I didn’t want to think about anything. I just wanted to fall asleep and forget everything. I noticed what felt like a mild fever flaring up, but I ignored it and flopped onto my bed.
One corner of my heart dampened pathetically. Keith had mistaken me as a girl. That was why he had saved me, kissed me, and held me.
I didn’t expect him to be that disgusted.
A deep sigh trickled out of my mouth. I suddenly remembered him checking my pheromone.
‘Was he disappointed that I was a beta? Would things have been different if I were an omega? It wouldn’t have mattered that I was a guy, right? If I were an omega, that is.’
Searching for an answer now was impossible. I was a beta, a male at that, and he was disgusted by me.
Just like that, I closed my eyes and fell asleep without even showering. I was deathly exhausted. All I truly wanted was to forget all about today when I woke up tomorrow morning.
This trivial decision changed my entire life. That night, I should have gone to the nearest pharmacy and bought some meds that temporarily detoxify the pheromones. At the very least, I should have washed every bit of my body to get rid of his pheromones that remained on my body.
If I did any of that, his pheromones that were heavily settled on my entire body would not have been absorbed into my skin and inhaled into my respiratory tract. Then my body wouldn’t have transitioned, and I wouldn’t have become on omega when I opened my eyes two days later after suffering from a high fever.
What tortured me most, however, was that even though my life had turned upside down, the very person who was at the root of this change did not remember this incident at all. I realized this when I was hired as Keith Knight Pittman’s secretary a few years after graduation, after I had accumulated some experience in the field.
He didn’t recognize me at all. To Keith, I was merely “a male secretary.” When I stood before him with a trembling heart, all Keith said with his apathetic face was this.
“I don’t care if you’re an omega, or an alpha, or whatever. I don’t do men. Just do your work properly.”
I didn’t know if it was meant to relieve me or warn me not to even dream about it. As if to prove his own words, he had completely ignored me for the past two years. His women changed constantly. He had been with betas and omegas, but not one of them was male.
The fact that I was a beta was never an issue.
I realized this not long after starting to work with him.
The only issue was that I had a rod instead of a set of soft mounds. As long as I had my junk, he would never even glance at me.
The day I accepted this, I bid farewell to my first love, got drunk, and cried myself to sleep.
* * *
I blinked my eyes slowly before finally returning to reality after a few seconds of blankness. Although my head was still cloudy, I felt much less tired. I rubbed my irritated eyes with my finger and sat up. I checked the time to find that I woke up 10 minutes before the alarm.
I languidly got up, fixed my hair, and examined my clothes. When I unlocked and opened the office door after checking the room for the last time, I was no different from my usual self. As proof, one of the staff members of the secretary team who just brought me the report that I had instructed for earlier that day saw me and smiled, greeting me like usual. I casually greeted them back as I checked over the report.
Five minutes later, the door would open and that man would walk in. He would march in, as confident as always, and brush past me—just like he did on the day I first met him.
I looked up indifferently and listened for the footsteps that would sound from the hallway. The time was approaching slowly. Relative to that, my heart also shut its doors, one by one.
The sound of the footsteps that felt like a distant imagination blended into reality. I lightly clutched onto the report with both hands and stood upright, waiting for the door to open.
Soon, the moment came. Keith appeared before my eyes. As usual, I smiled just with my mouth and greeted him.
“Did the meeting go well?”
As if nothing had happened.
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