Chapter 53: You’re Going To Beat Them to Death (3)
Although he knew that when Zhou Xiaoxiao was talking in a soft and coquettish tone, she must have something up her sleeves, he still couldn’t look away from her.
“You left me here by myself and you don’t want me anymore. At least, say it in my face. I heard from your second sister-in-law that you were going to marry another woman and my heart is aching so bad.”
“No, I wasn’t going to.”
“Then why did you write such a ruthless and harsh letter to me? After I read the letter, I cried under the blankets for several nights in a row.”
“If something is going on, can you tell me?” Zhou Xiaoxiao glanced at Yu Xingzhi’s eyes and softly advised, “If you don’t like me anymore, or if you think I’m too crude and reasonable and incompatible with you, or if you can’t be with me due to pressure from your family, you just need to tell me the truth. That way, I won’t think about random possibilities and feel bad.”
Zhou Xiaoxiao patiently waited a while before finally hearing Yu Xingzhi’s deep voice.
“I…” He clenched his fist and his face paled, opening his mouth with difficulty, “I can’t have sex.”
Zhou Xiaoxiao was stunned. She thought of all sorts of answers, but didn’t expect to hear such a bizarre one.
“Impossible. Since when?” She blurted.
Yu Xingzhi’s face flushed and he closed his eyes, turning to the side.
“Ever since I landed in the Lins’ hands and suffered from their torture, this had occurred. After returning to the capital, I felt annoyed and frustrated. I was unable to sleep day and night and this slowly worsened my injuries. Even more, I began to despise other people coming near me and no matter who accidentally touched me, it made me irritated and upset. That day…”
He paused before continuing.
“That day, mother wanted to break our relationship, so she ordered a maid in the residence to…climb my bed in the middle of the night. I woke up in shock and the maid’s soft and delicate body only made my hair stand up. I began to feel nauseated and couldn’t help but vomit on the bed. That maid ended up escaping out the door and ever since, I knew there was something wrong with me. I secretly went to search for a cure…but nothing was effective. Although we swore to be together, I am too ashamed to let you stay with me, so I can only let you down.”
When he said this, Yu Xingzhi couldn’t continue anymore. He clenched his fists tightly and his knuckles were in pain.
He originally was not willing to mention such a shameful matter in front of his beloved, but to keep Zhou Xiaoxiao from feeling bad and clear the misunderstanding, he endured his shame and blurted everything out.
Right now, he felt as if a dagger had sliced his body open and revealed his ugliness in front of him. He had no interest in life anymore and he felt like his world was gray.
Zhou Xiaoxiao calmed down and recalled the days when they were escaping. At that time, she took care of Yu Xingzhi who had trouble moving around, so she helped him, not afraid of contact at all. She didn’t notice that “some parts” of Yu Xingzhi was unusual. Even more, while Yu Xingzhi was unconscious, she could tell that he was reacting to her.
“Then when I touched you, do you feel nauseous?”
“You are naturally…different from others.”
Yu Xingzhi thought in dismay: only when you’re by my side, I can sleep well. Do you know that when we separated paths, I haven’t gotten a single day of good sleep? I have been eagerly waiting for you to return to my side, so we can be together forever. Even if I have to disobey my parents and be disowned, I’m not scared. I just hate myself for how useless I am right now and despite how much my heart aches for you, I have to endure the pain and break off our relationship. I can’t drag you down your entire life.
But right now, he couldn’t say this, so he didn’t.
Yet, Zhou Xiaoxiao was recalling the details and she disagreed with Yu Xingzhi’s explanation. She decided to verify this, so she wasn’t really rushing to explain.
“You don’t need to be too worried. This should be a psychological issue and it might not be a physical issue.”
Yu Xingzhi didn’t understand, but his heart had died. Therefore, he didn’t bother overthinking.