Chapter 47 - I Won’t Ask For Forgiveness
“Why did you give up on the job, huh? Did you make some kind of mistake? Is that why?”
“You can’t just say, ‘Yes, I understand,’ and leave! Not even if they tell you to stop working! You have to get on your knees and beg for your life! It’ll get colder from now on and we don’t even have enough money for firewood to warm ourselves up, you know!”
Without even bothering to listen to what her parents were saying, Anna went to bed right away, pulling the blanket to her head. She wished that everything was just a dream she could wake up from the next morning.
Just like her parents said, it would be harder to find a job later on, so she must find one before then. Reality, as cruel as it was, wasn’t going to go easy on Anna, whose heart had been mercilessly beaten and bruised by the betrayal she suffered.
Soon enough, in a display of both fortune and, perhaps, misfortune, she was able to quickly find a new job thanks to Sebastian, her next-door neighbor. He recommended her as a babysitter for the household he worked in. She started working right away, trying her hardest to make sure thoughts of the Kilner household didn’t leak into her mind subconsciously.
She was walking back home one day, exhausted after work, when someone suddenly called her name.
“Anna,” came a familiar voice.
She stopped in her tracks. Behind a large tree, a dark shadow followed someone as they emerged from the shade. Anna’s face was expressionless, but she bit the inside of her cheek. She didn’t dare turn around. The place where she and Dylan had met for the first time was at that tree in particular.
Anna’s fist, clasped right by her hip, tightened. Dylan called her name aloud once more, but she refused to respond. She started counting in her head.
One. Two. Three. Four.
As soon as she reached five, the number ringing loudly in her mind, she started walking again. She was still expressionless as if she couldn’t see Dylan at all. As if his voice could not reach her.
It happened the next day too.
And the day after, as well.
Day after day was much the same. Dylan was always waiting for her beside the same tree on her path home from work. At this point, she was scared of the possibility that he might not be there when she reached the same place anymore. She’d grow relieved at the sight of his shadow beneath the tree cast by the moonlight shining behind him every time.
However, these feelings of anticipation and relief weren’t welcomed in the slightest. Anna took hold of the cold, metal objects in her pocket and walked toward the tree.
“Let’s have a discussion,” she said. It had been fifteen days since she had last properly talked to him, face-to-face. Fifteen days since she had left the Kilner family household.
Dylan watched her with pleading, puppy-dog eyes like a hound abandoned by the side of the street, nodding at her words. However, her face wasn’t as bright and hopeful as his was.
“Please don’t come here again.”
Those were words she had been practicing saying to him dozens of times now. Hearing them, Dylan’s face dropped, losing its smile. Regret and sorrow shrouded his expression.
It would’ve been normal to feel refreshed, to laugh at his face joyfully after seeing him in just as much pain as she had endured in the past. However, she wasn’t happy. Not even a little bit.
Looking at his thin, pallid face only brought pain to her heart.
“It was all my fault,” he uttered weakly. He spoke with a voice that sounded like it was drowning at sea.
“There’s no use saying all that now,” she said. “It’s all over. I can’t forgive you, Master. Seeing your face alone angers me to no end. How many of your words were the truth, and how many of them were lies? How many times have you laughed at me inside as you saw me easily play right into your hands? These thoughts have tortured me every day.”